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The Blue Are Coming

Roast My Chapter

Chapter -2 – Cry

This is the second chapter of The Blue. We’re still in 1977 – so still a negative number. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Please look here, and read the first chapter “Failure” while you’re at it.

Anyhoo… “Cry” is a lot different than the previous chapter. There’s a woman fighting for her life during childbirth in the first scene, and a nerdy explanation of mid-seventies technology in the second. It’s longer than the previous chapter, but still only 1375 words (about 5½ paperback pages).

The pages are formatted differently, as well. They’re now displayed as images instead of text on a background. Let me know if the watermark is distracting – I can find another way. Just want to make sure no one uses this without attribution and/or passes it off as their own work.

I’m also worried the text size might be bit small. I captured the images at 14pt. Maybe it should be 15? I’m such a dork.

Hope you enjoy. Cry if you want; roast if you must 🙂

Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 1 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.
Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 2 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.
Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 3 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.
Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 4 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.
Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 5 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.
Chapter -2, "Cry", Page 6 of 6. Watermarked image to keep AI scrapers at bay. If you don't have a screen reader, leave a comment below and I'll hook you up.

-2 – Cry (this chapter)

«

-3 – Failure

-2 – Cry
(this chapter)

-1 – Letters

»

Go ahead… ROAST IT. We know you want to.

8 responses to “Chapter -2 – Cry”

  1. mickleinapickle Avatar
    mickleinapickle

    Powerful and sad. Great writing style.

    Reply
    1. Bloo Avatar
      Bloo

      Thanks, MP! I was aiming for both, so I appreciate you taking time to read.

      Reply
  2. Claire Gallagher Avatar
    Claire Gallagher

    Ah…there’s the emotion. I was hoping it was in there. I love multiple-perspective novels and how the story is developing. Keep going!

    Reply
    1. Bloo Avatar
      Bloo

      Thank you, Claire. It was difficult making the doc emotional coz they’re not supposed to be. Ophelia as the first patient she lost along with Bakana being an orphan hopefully justifies the emotion.

      Reply
  3. Bloo Avatar
    Bloo

    Hiya Claire and Laura !

    I fixed the repeated page boo-boo. How embarrassing 🙁

    Reply
  4. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Clean and sparse, keeps the plot trotting. Love it!
    If you need roasting, maybe pare down the medical procedure description (local anaesthetic bit). Things like that tend to slow down the action and read a bit like you are trying to hard to describe the scene for me. No big deal though.

    Reply
    1. Bloo Avatar
      Bloo

      Thanks for that, Laura. I do get a bit overdescriptive at times (my engineering background, I guess). I watched an old television series called M*A*S*H where the docs went into detail about what they were doing in the operating room. I’m sure that’s still an influence.

      Reply
  5. Claire Gallagher Avatar
    Claire Gallagher

    Hey, Bloo,

    I enjoyed this but I think there’s at least one page missing and another is repeated.

    Claire x

    Reply